Oh hello! I did a podcast this one time. The website that hosted it originally is no more; basically, the archive has gone down on me because I didn’t pay the server £40. Sort of like a reverse-hooker situation.

But hey, no worries, because you’ve just found….

For the uninitiated, The 3:16 Podcast was born one day while I was sitting in a marketing seminar, and one particular Powerpoint slide leapt out at me: “The average consumer will only digest three minutes and sixteen seconds of any given media before their attention drifts.” I don’t know what the rest of the seminar was about because it was dull as hell, but I remember thinking 3:16 might make for the optimal length of a podcast so I went ahead and did that.

Essentially, it’s an idea that insults everyone involved. I didn’t trust you as a listener to pay attention for more than a few minutes, and my cohosts and I didn’t trust ourselves to be entertaining enough to hook you for any longer than that either. It was possibly my best idea to date.

Every topic for each episode was suggested by listeners. Thanks to everyone who gave us topic suggestions back in the day, even if they were utterly bonkers.

Enjoy these short podcasts for your short life.

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#1 – Selling Out

#2 – Down With The Sickness

#3 – Moulin Rouge

#4 – Get To The Chopper

#5 – Meet and Greets

#6 – Aglets

#7 – Christmas Decorations

#8 – Cultural Appropriation

#9 – Star Wars

#10 – Christmas Light Ceremonies

#11 – What Makes a Good Movie?

#12 – Worst Christmas Gifts

#13 – The Force Dilly-Dallies

#14 – Dogs Wearing Pants

#15 – Sex Education

#15.5 – Zeke’s New Cats (BONUS)

#16 – Digital Vs. Physical Media

#17 – Best Board Games

#18 – Jigsaws

#19 – Biggest Let Downs

#20 – Swearing

#21 – Dairy Products

#22 – Facebook

#23 – American Football Terms

#24 – Big Bang Theory

#25 – Multicultural London English Accent: Fake or Genuine?

#25.5 – [BONUS] Zeke’s Youtube Trolls

#26 – Ghostbusters

#27 – Reboots

#28 – Calling Sweden

#29 – Magic Cards

#30 – Pi vs Pie

#31 – Goodbye Graham

#32 – Offensive Jokes

#33 – Hostile Alien Takeover

#34 – Tattoos in the Workplace

#35 – Brexit

#36 – Fart vs. Burp

#37 – North vs. South

#38 – Zekecon

#39 – Police Brutality in America

#40 – Zeke’s Mum

#41 – Would You Rather have C3P0’s Genitals or Chewbacca’s Face?

#42 – Game Reboots

#43 – Star vs Director

#44 – War: What is it Good For?

#45 – Youtube’s New Rules

#46 – Giant Snake vs Giant Spider

#47 – Dark Matter

#48 – Fake News

#49 – Finale