Joseph D'Lacey

- Zounds Zilly Bud... -

www.tittybiscuits.com

 

My gonzonends ave gon zovd an
Beoble ave zdobbed daging me zeriouzly.
Berabz they thing I'm zome gind ov dwad

Well, they gan go an ged vugged
Begauz idz nod my vauld;
I dzuzd woge ub lige thiz lazd Zadurday

My girlvriend iz embarrazzed do gome do the bub with me
Zdubid bidge, how unzubbordive gan you ged?
The landlord loogz ad me blangly when I zay,
“A bind ov Zamuel Zmiths bidder bleaze.”

Id loogz lige I may ged the zag vrom worg doo.
Zo unvair, all I did waz egzblain do a guzdomer
Thad I waz aving broblemz egzbrezzing myzelv
My boz iz worried thad beoble will thing I'm oud on a day bazz
An nod an embloyee ad all.

Ow gan live be zo arzh?

Ow gan theze beoble be zo gruel?

The dogdor zend me do the zbeedge therabizd
Oo zaid I ad do bragdize my ard zounds.
Zhe made me zay thingz lige,
“Gadging zgradging giddenz
Iz bezd with zdeel middenz
And zdobs uz gedding bidden
By thoze bazdard liddle giddenz.”

Agdually, I thing zhe'z a bid ov a bazdard.
Thiz gind ov thing az guazed me a gread deal ov divviguldy and vidz ov debrezzion
Bud the therabizd zaid,
“Id gould be worze, zomeone gould ave zdolen your vowelz.”

“Thad's drue,” I zaid

“Thn ‘d b cmbldly vggd.”