The Time We Helped a Billionaire

“What the hell is that?”

I was talking to a random Maltese guy outside a bar, pointing across the horizon of Mellieha bay at the gigantic yacht sitting in the middle of the harbour.

“Oh, you didn’t hear? That’s Paul Allen’s megayacht.”

“The co-founder of Microsoft?”

“Yeah, The Octopus. It cost him $300 million, and that’s not including the submarine they’ve got on board which cost about the same again.”


“That’s not all. The diesel costs are so huge, it costs them about $60,000 just to turn on the engine and sail around to the next bay. And who knows how much it costs daily to employ the 400 staff and keep the lights on…”

“… Just for one guy.”

“Just for one guy.”

“How do you know all this stuff, anyway?”

“I’m a fisherman, so I’ve got access to all the regional ship data and stuff. I was actually on the thing the other day…”

“You were on it?”

“Yep! Had to deliver a huge amount of fresh fish. It’s all they’re eating, apparently. Got to meet the guy, too; shook his hand.”

“Wow. I bet security was tight?”

“Dude, seriously. If I’d have reached into my pocket too quickly, the people around him would have shot me without thinking about it. No question.”


“I don’t know if it’s true, but I’m told they’re ex-Navy Seals. And the other locals are saying they’ve been threatened with gunfire if they get anywhere near the thing.”

My mind starting whirring.

“You’re a fisherman?”


“You’ve got a boat?”


“Well then, my new friend. We must test these claims.”


“I want to get as close to The Octopus as possible.”

“I’m not really sure that’s a good id…”

“I’ll pay you whatever you make in a day to see if we can get shot at by Navy Seals.”

“I’m at shack 4 on the waterfront.”

“See you at 9am.”

“Why do you want to do this, anyway?”

“I’ve got a funny feeling it’ll make for an interesting Youtube video.”

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