About Zeke Iddon

The owner of this website is known only as Zeke Iddon.

Zeke Iddon is available in three flavours and up to sizes XXL (dependent on stock).

Zeke Iddon’s Ted Talk is being broadcast on a five-second studio delay. Zeke Iddon loves to cuddle, but at all the wrong times. Zeke Iddon is in your base, freaking out your dudes. He will accept returns only on the manager’s approval and only with a valid receipt. Zeke Iddon is the manager.

Zeke Iddon is installing iTunes without installing Quicktime. His  iTunes is set to shuffle, but it always seems to revert to that one song by the Pet Shop Boys. Zeke Iddon refuses to close an illegal operation. Zeke Iddon would very much like to report the error to Microsoft – in fact, Bill Gates can expect Zeke Iddon’s five-page report on his desk at 9 o’clock, sharp. Zeke Iddon is going West. Life is peaceful there.

Zeke Iddon has somehow included a trojan into a JPEG. Zeke has experienced a shipping error again, and he’s passing the savings onto you. Zeke Iddon knows good wine. He uses ‘know’ in the Biblical sense. It is best not to ask how this works.

Zeke Iddon will not judge a book by its cover, only on its narrative structure and pace of plot.  The cut of your jib does not please Zeke Iddon. Plot twist: Zeke Iddon once spent an entire weekend studying the true meaning of #Covfefe. His productivity was down 27% the following Monday.

Zeke Iddon is listening to Russia’s national anthem – not because he likes it, but because it’s about him. Zeke Iddon cannot go one evening without talking about The Tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise. Zeke Iddon has licked an ass, but not the way you’re thinking.

Terrorists never stop thinking of ways to harm our countries and our people, and neither does Zeke Iddon. When it is time to rock the funky joint Zeke Iddon is on point. When it is time to rock the funky town, Zeke Iddon is down. When it is time to rock the funky jam, Zeke Iddon appreciates a bit of advanced notice.

Zeke Iddon wonders if you ever heard the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise. It’s not a story the Jedi would tell you. Zeke was on a Paris train. He emerged in London rain.

There is a house in New Orleans they call Zeke Iddon. It’s been the ruin of many a poor boy and Lord, I know, I’m one. Zeke Iddon’s mother was a tailor, she sewed those new blue jeans. Zeke Iddon is playing an organ solo. Oh mother, tell your children, not to do what Zeke Iddon has done.

Zeke Iddon climbed to the top of Mt. Everest and didn’t even take a photo to put on Instagram. He set aside an afternoon at the summit to finally sort out that bloody paperwork. Zeke Iddon took a contented low-oxygen nap in the fading Tibetan sunset.

There are few things in this world more comforting than a handshake from Zeke Iddon and one of them is a cuddle from Zeke Iddon. Zeke Iddon came joint first with asbestos on the ‘List of Things Not to Breath In’ as voted by Daily Mail readers. Zeke Iddon is consciously re-coupling Chris and Gwyneth, subconsciously.

Zeke Iddon owes £200 to the Community Chest. Zeke Iddon is evading the super tax. Zeke Iddon is debating the house rules regarding the Free Parking square, even when they work in his favour. Zeke Iddon just opened a hotel on Mayfair, and guess where you’re about to land? Zeke Iddon is conquering Irkutsk with a single army, rolling perfect sixes all across Asia. Zeke Iddon can pronounce Irkutsk perfectly. You are now also trying to say ‘Irkutsk’ and noting how difficult it is for an English speaker. You have now tried saying it at least three times, doing a weird thing with your tongue and giving a slight nod of your head on the last vowel. You didn’t know you were doing that. Zeke Iddon does. Zeke hopes you love bargains.

The nail that sticks up will be hammered down by Zeke Iddon.

Zeke Iddon is coming to your town soon.

Zeke Iddon is sold out.

You missed Zeke Iddon.